Niffelhiem
by MyTeenageDream
Summary: What happens when seven very...interesting...people get stuck together? American Idol Season 8 Fic. NOTE-I used to be strangerthanfictionclub
1. Meet the Characters

Niffelhiem

Lila-22- the cute, crazy, and annoying girl everyone hates or loves…

Angel-20- the annoying best friend of Lila

Riley-20- Angel's hot boyfriend or ex…

Josh-22- Lila's boyfriend. See Riley for more info…

Danny-28- the nice American Idol 3rd place person.

Adam-26- the slightly gay and always strange runner up who never shuts up…

Kris-23- the winner who acts like a loser and hates Lila. A lot…

Allison-22- The 4th place person. She is slightly, or VERY mean, and likes someone. Who?

Caylee-21- Angel and Lila's best friend. For some reason, Allison likes hurting her…


	2. Niffelhiem

Chapter 1

Lila- Where are we?

Angel- I don't know.

Lila- It's really cold.

Josh- I'll keep you warm baby.

Riley- I'm so hot, I can melt all of this ice!

Angel- Uh, sure! Yeah, let's go with that! *Hugs Riley*

(Three figures show up in the distance)

Josh- Who's there?

Kris- We're Kris Allen, Adam Lambert, and Danny Gokey from American Idol.

Lila- I'm Lila, and this is Josh, Angel, and Riley.

Riley- Wait! What's American Idol?

Everyone else- WHAT

Josh- It's only where I met the prettiest girl, like, EVER!

Danny- (to Lila) Oh! So you were on American Idol?

Lila- No… not yet… *gives Josh death glare*

Josh- Uh…

Riley- Whatever. So where are we?

Angel- I dunno.

Adam- How'd we, like, get here?

Josh- All I know is that it's too cold here. C'mon Riley, we're leaving! *opens random door in the middle of nowhere* *slams door* *puts head back through door* And were locking you out! *slams door again*

Angel- Great! Now we're alone AND freezing!

Danny- Well, Adam, Kris, your friend, and I are still here.

Angel- Well I barely know you…

Lila- I thought you cried until 3AM when he got voted off…

Angel- Shut up.

Lila- Anyway, I think we're in Niffelhiem…

Adam- NOOOOOOOOOO! I'm too young to go to Niffelhiem! *screams* Wait! What's Niffelhiem?

Lila- It's the frozen Norwegian land of the dead. Think of it as Hell, but Norwegian and frozen over…

Kris- So we're dead?

Angel- If we're not now, we will be if we don't figure something out!

Lila- Speaking of Hell, I think that's we're our boyfriends went. I thought I saw flames around the door…

Kris- Oh! You're single! And hot!

Lila- Aren't you married?

Kris- …your point?

Lila- Kris, do you remember this from the concert? *holds up poster reading "GO TO NIFFELHIEM!"*

Kris- That was you! And-and I'm in Niffelhiem! *points* It's all your fault!

Lila- Me?!? You're the one who took all of Danny's votes!

Danny- What?

Kris- What does that have to do with anything?

Lila- I just felt like saying that!

(Kris and Lila end up having a huge fight, which Angel and Danny eventually have to break up)

Adam- (next to Lila) *screams*

Lila- Ow! I think I'm deaf!  
Adam- *screams*

Lila- Never mind…

Angel- So how will we get out of here?

(A fairy appears)

RL- I am the Fairy of Niffelhiem!

Angel- Renaldo Lapuz!

RL- No! I am a magical fairy! Named Renaldo Lapuz…

Danny- Mr. Lapuz! Renaldo! Sir! We need your help!  
RL- Ah! I will grant you one wish! But with it, a curse!

Adam- Unicorns!  
Lila- Seriously?!?  
Adam- What do YOU think?

Lila- I think you want to go home…

Adam- No, I really do want a pet unicorn, but I'll wait until we get home. Then I can go to a pet store!

RL- Ah! I will send you home! And I will give you a mansion!

Kris- And this is a curse because…

RL- You will all have to live together!

(Two girls fall from the sky in front of the others, yelling at each other about something that cannot be heard.)

Allison- How'd we get here?

Caylee- I don't know! YOU'RE the one who took a wrong turn! Into a brick wall!

RL- Do you want to go home with them?

Caylee- Sure.

Allison- Whatever…

RL- Okay! All 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, SEVEN of you must live together!

Caylee- Sweet honey iced tea!

All- What?!?

Caylee- It's the initials.

Adam- S-H-I- oh…

Angel- Wow. Shio…

Lila- It will be weird considering all seven of us hate each other…

Kris- Yeah like this! *slaps Lila*

(All seven end up in a slap fight with one person slapping the next person)

(Kris-Lila-Angel-Adam-Caylee-Allison-Danny)

Danny- STOP!

(All stop)

Allison- Danny's right. Let's just go home.

(All seven appear lying on the floor in the entryway of a beautiful mansion)


	3. Home, Hatefilled, Home

Chapter 2

(All seven appear on the floor of the entryway in a beautiful mansion.)

Adam- This place rocks!

Caylee`- The view's so pretty!

Lila- *being crushed by Kris* I dunno. My views a little tainted…

Kris- My butts not that bad…

Lila- Move your ass or I'll kick it…

Kris- Whatever…*gets up*

Danny- So we're all stuck here… Together…

Allison- Just add a camera and it can be the next season of Survivor!

Angel- *pulling Lila over* Can I see you for a second?

Lila- What?

Angel- We have got to get out of here.

Lila- I know! We can't all live together. Kris and I hate each other, Allison and Caylee have already shown that they're not friends, you hate Adam, who's oblivious to everything…

Angel- We should make a secret escape.

Lila- Yeah. Maybe we could go back to Niffelhiem.

Danny- Hey girls. Whatcha talking about?

Angel- We're talking about making an escape!

Lila- Great job keeping it a secret…

Danny- Can I come?

Angel- Yes!  
Lila- Sure…

(The three find a giant bird that flies them halfway to Niffelhiem. Somewhere in between, they just appear in Niffelhiem with the bird gone.)

Lila- I changed my mind! I want to go home!

Danny- Me too!  
Angel- Yeah…

Lila- *picks up book* Hey, what's this?

Angel- It looks like a diary…

Lila- Okay. Either this person made it out, or they died here. Hopefully we'll get lucky.

Danny- Couldn't the person still be here?

Lila- Who leaves their diary lying around? Anyway…

(The three read every page of the diary, finding no information about getting out of Niffelhiem, but see that the last entry is dated with a recent date, so the person might be stupid and left it around, left it behind recently, or died within the last 2 days…)

Danny- You know, I haven't seen my diary since we got home…

Lila- *flipping to end of book* Oh…

Angel- What?

Lila- *reads* Property of Danny Gokey…

Angel- Oh…

Lila- Yeah… Sorry Danny…

Danny- It's fine. At least I didn't know you then, or else you would know how I really feel about you…

Angel- You completely despise us like the rest of the world?

Danny- No! *laughs* I was just kidding!

Lila- Well, I found out one thing from that book.

Danny- What?  
Lila- We're distant cousins.

Danny- Wow! That's kinda cool!

Angel- Hmmm. I think I found another book. It looks like some magical spellbook…

Danny- Hmmm… Let's try this one… beep

Lila- No, I think this'll work. *punches Danny in face*

Danny- *attempts to curse, but comes out as censor noise*

(The three appear in the mansion, to find Kris, Adam, and Allison looking at them angrily)

Kris- *holding a hairdryer like a gun* You three tried to leave!  
Allison- That's, like, against the rules.

Angel- Where's Caylee?

Caylee- *from ground* I'm down here!  
Lila- Why?

Caylee- Allison attacked me! She and Adam got bored so… Help… I want to go back to Niffelhiem!

Danny, Angel, and Lila- NOOOO!!!!!

(Caylee disappears)

Danny- You think she'll make it back?

Lila- The way she talks, never…

Kris- Ya know, I've had enough of you Lila! *holds up "weapon"*

Lila- Dude, you DO know that that's a hairdryer…

Kris- Too bad! *aims at Angel* May 20th, 2009. American Idol Season 8 Finale. Who did you want to win?

Angel- Danny Gokey!

Kris- Wrong answer! *turns hairdryer on*

Angel- (sarcastically) Ah. Thaw my frozen body…

Police- That's it! All of you to Anger Management Class now!

Allison- This sucks. Without that little twerp around, I have nothing to do… I'll go find her.

(Allison disappears)

Angel- Now we might see Caylee again…

(All five go to Anger Management Class. They sit in chairs in a circle with a counselor in the middle. On Lila's left is Kris, who's next to Angel, who's next to Adam, who's next to Danny, who's next to Lila.)

Counselor- Now Lila, what's bothering you?

Lila- Him. *points to Kris*

Kris- Real nice…

Lila- Thanks!

Counselor- What about you Angel?

Angel- He just annoys me. *points to Adam*

Adam- Huh?

Angel- *rolls eyes*

Counselor- What's bothering you Kris?

Kris- You haven't figured out that I hate her yet?!?

Lila- I hate you too.

Counselor- What about you Adam?

Adam- *crying*

Counselor- Good! Good! Let it all out!  
Adam- *screams in Angel's ear*

Angel- I think I'm deaf!

Adam- *screams again*

Angel- Never mind…

Counselor- …and bring it all back in…

Adam- *calms down*


	4. Mad World Called Home

Counselor- …moving on… Danny. What about you?

Danny- Seriously, I don't have anything wrong with me right now. I don't really know why I'm here…

Counselor- …Kris! You look like something's wrong…

Kris- All the girls I know annoy me…

Adam- Ha! So you admit that you don't like girls!

Kris- I do like girls. Just not that one. *points to Lila*

Adam- Yeah, but who DOES like her…

Lila- I'm right here! I can hear you!

Danny- That wasn't very nice…

Kris- When am I ever nice?

Allison- Ooh! Kris is a meanie! Allie likey!

Caylee- (from fl) That would explain why I'm like this!

Angel and Lila- CAYLEE?!?

Caylee- No… I'm just the person on the floor…

Lila- No, we mean when did you get here?

Caylee- Well, Allison found me and tried to call me a few things, and we just appeared here…

Danny- So you've been here the whole time?

Lila- Danny, now that I know we're related, I feel comfortable doing this. *slaps Danny*

Danny- Ow!

Kris- Danny, if you can't handle being slapped by some little kid, I don't think you're a man.

Lila- Oh so you want me to slap you too!

Kris- No thanks!  
Adam- You don't scare me!

Lila- *slaps Adam*

Adam- Ow! Your turn Kris!  
Kris- Fine…

Lila- *slaps Kris*

Kris- Ow!

Angel- Wow Kris, you sure are weak!

Adam- *laughs at Kris*

Kris- Shut the fu(l up.

Danny- If you know Adam, you'll know that that won't happen.

Adam- Am I really that bad?

All Others- YES!

Adam- *tries to shut the fu(l up*

Caylee- How long do you think he'll last?

Angel- Wait for it…

Danny, Kris, Allison, Angel, and Lila- 4, 3, 2…

Adam- Did you hear about Kris's new single? It got about 5 downloads!  
Kris- I released it 5 minutes ago!  
Danny- Mine sold more in the first 2 minutes…

Angel- So did mine!

Lila- Angel, you don't have a single…

Angel- Well I WILL… As soon as I get a record deal, and people find out who I am… and-

Kris- So you're hopeless?

Angel- Pretty much.

Adam- *laughs*

Allison- What's so funny?

Adam- Oh nothing…

Lila- Don't worry Adam, I do that to her everyday…

Danny- You're not as nice as I thought…

Lila- *gasps sarcastically* Shocker!

Caylee- I was surprised too…

Adam- I knew she was weird when she didn't call me gay…

Lila- I was trying to be nice! Ugh! All of this kindness is giving me a headache!

Allison- No one here is being nice…

Lila- Good! I thought I was gonna become nice or something terrible like that!  
Angel- I always wondered why we were friends.

Lila- *hold fist to face*

Angel- …and now I remember why…

Adam- Wow, you're weird too!

Kris- *laughing at other people's problems* I can see that!

Lila- You're not nice yourself.

Danny- I slightly agree…

Lila, Adam, Angel, Caylee, and Allison- Slightly?

Kris- …and that's why Danny's my best friend!

Danny- I am?

Angel- No! *pulls Danny* He's my bffl!

Danny- I am?

Lila- She's obsessed…

Danny- I can see that…

Adam- Wow… Did anyone notice that the anger management guy is gone?

Lila- Yeah. I heard he quit. Said we were hopeless and a waste of his time…

Allison- For some reason, that doesn't surprise me…

(A random guy with a gun bursts into the room)

Dude- Everyone down!

Adam- censor noise

(Everyone appears of floor of mansion)

Adam- …this SO ruins my new outfit…

Danny- Well, at least we lost him…

Dude- Not quite… *holds up gun*

Angel- Just tell us what you want!

Dude- Uh, I don't know… I never thought I'd make it this far…

Caylee- *cough* genius *cough*

Dude- Give me all your, uh, money!  
Lila- We don't have any!  
Dude- You live in a mansion, you HAVE to be rich!

Angel- What if the mansion was, um, a gift?

Dude- Who gives a mansion as a gift?

Angel- An inheritance? Something we blew all our cash on?

Dude- I can see that, but don't you have ANYTHING? Like, for food?

Adam- What if the, um, fridge came, uh, fully stocked?

Dude- I can see that… aww… I guess I'll have to settle for one of you… *holds up gun*

Kris- Please! Take her! *points to Lila* Spare me!

Lila- Thanks!

Dude- You! *aims gun at Lila* Come here! Now!

Kris- YES!

Lila- M-me?

Dude- Yes you! You're my new… uh… Well, I didn't exactly plan ahead, so until I think of something, I'll just lock you in my basement!

Danny- No…

Kris- YES! *happy dances*

Dude- Bye! *drags Lila away*

Caylee& Angel- LILA!

Danny- Where are you taking her?

Dude- My house! 123 Maple St. My phone number's 555-0139!

(Dude drags Lila out door and into his house)

Lila- (sarcastically) Ah… What do you have planned for me now…

Dude- Do I have to say it again? This is embarrassing, but I don't know what to do with you, so I'm locking you in my basement. *pushes Lila down stairs*

Lila- Great! I'm stuck with a moron who doesn't even know how to rob a house…

Adam- *from vents* Pssst! We're here to rescue you!


	5. Love and Choices

Chapter 4

Lila- How'd you get in here?

Adam- The garage door was open.

Lila- *opening vent door to let Adam out* If you went through the garage, why are you in the vents? The garage is right outside this door…

Adam- *getting out of vent* Dramatic effect?

Danny- *getting out of vent* Angel, Allison, Caylee, and I are here too. Everyone but Kris… he wanted to leave you here…

Angel- *getting out of vent* Yeah, he was planning a party, and not for your safe return…

Allison- *getting out of vent* I came in case we had to beat someone up!

Caylee- *getting out of vent* She's had A LOT of practice *shows bruised arm*

Lila- You guys rock!

Danny- Let's get out of here.

Dude- Not so fast! You'll never get past my minions! *unleashes army of… harmless kitties*

Lila- (sarcastically) Ah… Someone save me…

Adam- I'll rescue you! But in case I never see you again…*kisses Lila*

Lila- WHAT THE HELL?!?

Danny- Dude! Just go and save your girlfriend!

Lila- I repeat, WHAT THE HELL?!?

Adam- *runs out into the middle of all of the kitties* Ow!

Lila- (annoyed) What happened?

Adam- I stubbed my toe!

Caylee- Wow…

Allison- I'll defeat these kitties! Watches! *karate chops… button…*

(Hundreds of little toy wind-up mice come out of crate. The kitties all follow the toys out the door)

Dude- How- how'd you do that?!?

Allison- The button said "Press to get rid of kitties" so I did, and it got rid of the kitties…

Caylee- (sarcastically) Wow… you really ARE an evil genius…

Dude- I know! I get it from my mom!

Allison- Let's go…

Dude- Wait! You can't leave! You-you signed a contract!

Lila- No I didn't…

Dude- Yeah you did! Uh… *turns around* Here! *give "contract" to Lila*

Lila- *reads* Wow… *laughs* My names not "Lia"! I can go!

(All six leave with Dude staring at them confused.)

(At mansion)

Kris- Awh! You're back… Everything was SO nice without you…

Angel- Shut up, you KNOW you missed her.

Kris- NO! How could I miss THAT? *motions to Lila*

Angel- *imitates Kris crying* No! Not Lila!

Adam- Well too bad! Lila's taken!

Kris- By who? I-I mean, who should I feel bad for?

Adam- I'm happily with her!

Kris- I thought you were gay?

Adam- People change!

Kris- Well…

Lila- That's it! (to Kris) I though you hated me! (to Adam) And you… Either way, I could NEVER love either of you! *runs to room*

Adam& Kris- (at same time) See what you did?!? ME?!? *points to other* You?!?

Danny- Guys, give her a break. She's a person, not a puppy. Now seriously, who really loves her?

Adam- I do! Kris, you're married!

Kris- (in shock) I am?!? When did this happen?!?

Caylee- Is anyone going to talk to him?

Angel& Danny- Nah.

Angel- Not now… This is too funny!

Danny- Yeah, Allison was right, our house is a reality show…

Allison- Aren't I always?

Adam- I'm gonna go talk to her.

Angel- This be interesting…

Adam- *knocks on Lila's door* Can I come in?

Lila- NO!

Adam- *opens door* Too bad. I'm here.

Lila- *sitting on bed* Great… *gets up* What do you want?

Adam- A chance. *kisses Lila* How's that as proof?

Lila- Great… *slaps*IF I WAS AN IDIOT! *pushes Adam out of room and slams door* AND STAY OUT!

Kris- (sarcastically) Awh! Poor little Adam got rejected!

Angel- (sarcastically) What a surprise…

Kris- My turn! *walks into room* Look, I know that loser's…

Lila- I still hate you… *literally kicks out of room and down stairs*

Kris- Ow!

Danny- Kris, are you okay? I mean physically. Lila kinda pushed you down marble steps…

Allison- (sarcastically) Awh! Poor Kris got rejected!

Angel- (sarcastically) Once again, surprising…

Allison- I know someone who loves you Kris!  
Kris- Really? Who?

Allison- *bats eyelashes*

Kris- Oh…

Allison- Just kiss me Kris! You'll see! You'll fall for me! *kisses Kris*

Kris- Wow… *kisses Allison*

Lila- *walking out of room* (sarcastically) Awh! Kris finally found love… (seriously to Allison) How much is he paying you?

Caylee- I think I figured out how to break the curse!

Others- How?

Caylee- We have to be able to tolerate each other.

Kris- I'll pretend to tolerate _her_ if it means I never have to see her again. *points to Lila*

RL- *appears*You have figured it out! Now, I will give you the choice! If all of you agree, all of you can leave and do whatever you want! The mansion is yours! But if even one person doesn't want to, you all must stay. I'll give you time to think about this! *disappears* *reappears a foot away from where he was before* T-this is embarrassing… *runs into kitchen*

Adam- This rocks! Yes!

Kris- Allison and I can still be together. Yes from both of us.

Danny- Yeah, it doesn't mean we can never see each other again. We're just not forced to live together.

Angel- Yeah!

Allison- I love you Kris!  
Caylee- And one more yes. Just one more yes, and we can leave!

Lila- Uh…no…


	6. Lost Remotes and Eyeliner

Chapter 5

All others- WHAT?!?!?!?!?

Allison- Wa da you mean?

Lila- I think this is a test. C'mon guys, if we really tolerated each other and cared about each other, we wouldn't just leave like this. And I think Caylee missed one thing. We have to love each other. Not like Allison and Kris, but like a family. Families can go their own ways, but they're still a family. I don't think we're like that yet. I say no.

Adam- I love smart girls!

Caylee- Let it go…

RL- *coming back* So have you decided yet?

Lila- We say no. We want to be like a family. *looks at other, who are all smiling back to her, Kris because he's too in love to be sad, except for Adam, who's been rejected twice in one day by the same girl*

RL- *smiles* Wise decision! I will let you go!

All- WHAT?!?

RL- You've passed! You're free! The mansion is yours. Do whatever you want with it. You can stay together or leave. Whatever you want. Have a nice life! *disappears*

Danny- Wow! Great job Lila! If we said yes… Who knows…?

Angel- Yeah…You kinda saved our asses, so thanks…

Adam- I still love you!

Caylee- Let it go…

Allison- So wa da you say? We should be a family! Sorta… *winks at Kris*

Kris- *winks back*

(Allison and Kris push a shocked Adam and protesting Lila together)

Lila- What do you people want from me?!?

Allison& Kris- (chanting) KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!

Lila- FINE!!!!! *kisses Adam* Happy?

Adam- (happily) Uhhh…

Lila- Well I'm leaving!

Allison- Wait!

Lila- Why the Hell did you do that?!? I thought you were my friend! Can't you see that I'm not interested?!?

Adam- If it's because you think I'm gay…

Lila- You are, so go stalk some weird gay dude.

Adam- Hey! I forgot to give you these! *pulls out roses*

Caylee- Wow…

Lila- Uh, thanks…

Danny- (pulls Lila aside) I figured out why Adam's acting so weird.

Lila- He is weird. He's just not himself…

Danny- Yeah… that's because of this. *pulls out remote*

Lila- Oh! You found the remote! Wait! What does finding the remote have to do with Adam's weirdness?

Danny- This is Adam's remote control. His remote control's on "love at first sight". He must've pressed it in his pocket in the vent. Since you were on the other side, and he was the first one out…

Lila- I get your point…

Danny- So what should I put it on? Gay? Freewill? Ooh! Selfdestruct!

Lila- Just turn it off Danny!

Danny- Fine… *turns off*

Adam- *drops dead*

Danny- *turns back on*

Adam- Wow that was cold! Wait! *see roses* What?!?

Danny- This is fun! *presses button*

Adam- *falls asleep*

Danny- *presses different button*

Adam- *slaps self*

Lila- Give me that! *grabs*

Adam- HUH?

Angel- Adam's back…

Kris- …and weirder than ever…

Adam- Where's my new eyeliner?!? *screams*

Allison- Umm… *hides eyeliner behind back*

Adam- I have to get more! *Sees Allison* Nice eyeliner Allison! I lost the same one five seconds ago!

Caylee- So this is why we're always broke…

Danny- And why I don't wear makeup… or guyliner…

Lila- We're talking about Adam, it's still eyeliner.

Angel- Or girliner…

Kris- Or Adam-liner…

(All laugh as Adam comes back in)


	7. The Reason For Our Unfortunate Meeting

Chapter 6

Adam- Okay, which one of you took my keys?

Allison- Adam, you don't have a car…

Adam- Yeah! Kris and I got cars from David Cook! Remember Kris?  
Lila- Oh, those…You and Kris kinda raced those…Off a cliff…Plunging into a raging river…

Adam- Oh…crap…

Kris- I'll remind you that that was all YOUR stupid idea Adam! Why did I ever listen to you…?  
Caylee- Why DID you listen to him Kris?  
Kris- We were bored, I didn't know the area, and Adam was losing…

Angel- What does Adam losing have to do with anything?  
Adam- Yeah, and I TOTALLY won!  
Kris- I couldn't follow him, and you were half a mile behind me.

Adam- Well…I made a bigger splash!

Kris- That's because you speed up at the end. Even AFTER I fell in!

Allison- How'd you guys get out anyway?

Kris- I don't know…All I remember is appearing in Niffelhiem after…

Lila- But Danny, weren't you with them when we met you guys?  
Danny- I was, but they ran into me before we met you and Angel. I was the pedestrian who got hit by one of their cars…

Adam- Sorry man, I thought that bump was a squirrel…

Lila- Angel and I were with Josh and Riley when Riley ran a red light and drove into the woods to avoid a ticket… We hit a tree, and it fell on us…

Angel- Oh yeah! Now I remember! We must've all died!

Adam- So we came back from the dead? Cool! Now I can buy eyeliner!

Lila- Yeah, and when we found Allison and Caylee, they were fighting over who drove into a brick wall!  
Caylee- It was Allison.

Allison- YOU were driving!  
Caylee- YOU grabbed the wheel for no reason!

Allison- You were going to miss our turn!  
Caylee- You turned us into a brick wall!  
Adam- *screaming* SHUT UP!!!!! *screams*

(Complete silence)

Lila- Coming from you? The guy who needs to shut the fu(l( up?!?

Danny- Uh… sure…So anyway, I guess people can see us, so we're not dead anymore…

Adam- Wait! Besides that fairy dude, who else saw us?

Lila- Oh I don't know, THE GUY WHO TRIED TO KIDNAP ME AND KILL ALL OF US?!?

Adam- Oh…Sorry, that times kind of a blur to me…

Angel- It was this morning…

Adam- Exactly…

Caylee- We, since he saw us, we must be completely normal…

Kris- Yeah, and I would have seen newspaper articles about it. Well, at least MY death would be all over the news!

Lila- Oh what a nice day that would be…

Kris- Shut up.

(A random scream comes from in front of them.)

Lila, Kris, Angel, Caylee, and Allison- (annoyed) ADAM!

Adam- (from behind) Yeah?

Angel- Wait! What Huh? You're behind, and… WHAT

(Scream heard again)

Caylee- Wait, if it wasn't YOU, *points to Adam* then who was it?

Danny- Sorry! Practicing…

Adam- And you people get mad at ME for practicing…

All others- Yeah.

Angel- I'm surprised that I can still hear!  
Adam- Do you want me to make you deaf?

Angel- Hell no!

Adam- (sadly) Fine…

(Silence)

Allison- (breaking the silence) This is SO boring!  
Kris- Let's go to a movie! I heard about this one with an amazing actor who-

Caylee- Lemme guess… YOU were in it…

Kris- Exactly!  
Lila- I don't feel like a movie today…

Caylee- Yeah, it's too nice outside to be indoor.

Danny- Yeah, I have to pick up my new glasses.

Angel- Yeah, a movie just sounds boring…

Adam- And I can't scream at a movie!

Lila- All in favor of the movie?

(All except for Adam raise hand)

Lila- Unfortunately, we'll be watching Kris's mediocre acting skills at work…Well, at least it's better than a screamfest…

Kris- Well actually…

(At movie)

(People are running and screaming, trying to avoid being abducted by pigeons…)

Lila- (whispers to Kris) Pigeons?!? Seriously?!?

Kris- Great right? It was all my idea…

Lila- I can see that…

(After movie)

(Only left in the theater are Lila, Angel, Caylee, Adam, & Danny, who are staring dumbfounded at the screen. Allison and Kris are happily clapping for the movie, and all of the other people in the theater left sometime during the movie…)

Allison- Oh Kris, you were great!

Kris- I know! Wasn't I?

Adam- *screams*

Caylee- Ya know, I actually have to agree with Adam for once…

Angel- Me too…

Lila- Definitely…

Kris- I know! Adam's screaming about how great the movie was!

Adam- Not exactly…

Kris- Danny! You've been quiet! What did you think?

Danny- Well, I didn't want to hurt your feelings Kris, but that wasn't exactly my favorite movie…

Kris- It's okay Danny! We all have different taste! Maybe your opinion's a little different but-

Caylee- (interrupting) It's not.

Kris- Really?

Angel- Ya, it's not…

Adam- We kinda, um…

Lila- …Highly disliked it…

Kris- So you hated it…

Caylee- NO! We just highly, highly, highly-

Angel- (interrupting) Highly, highly, highly, HIGHLY…, (two hours later) …highly disliked it…

(All blankly stare at Angel.)

Danny- …Anyway, I have to pick up my new glasses…

Angel- Ooh! Can I come with?

Lila- Yeah! Lenscrafters is in the mall, and I could use some new stuff so…

Adam- Wait! I thought we were broke…

Kris- Yeah…

Lila- Yeah, well how's Danny buying his new glasses?

Danny- I'm a spokesperson for Lenscrafters!

Lila- I thought your Twitter said you weren't one…

Danny- I just became one yesterday when they told me I could get free glasses! Now I have…*counts to self* uh… 57 counting the six I'm getting today!

(Blank stares at Danny)

Danny- What? I like to wear them with different outfits!  
Adam- And you people think I'M strange!

Lila- You are, so sit. *presses button*

Adam- *Sits*

Lila- Ya know, I just figured out why Adam's so weird…

Allison- Why?

Lila- His remote has a dial for species.

Angel- And what's he on?

Lila- Girly chimpanzee… or gay chimpanzee… They're too close together to tell… And crack cookies, so don't eat anything he gives you…

Angel- *holding cookie with one bite out of it* Oops… I thought he said a "crap cookie", and I said, "a cookie's a cookie" so yeah…

Lila- How many did you eat…

Angel- Umm… 22?

Lila- Great… Someone should bring her home so she doesn't embarrass us in the mall… Who wants to babysit her?

(Complete silence…)

Lila- Uh... Kris! You stay with her!

Kris- What?!? Why me?!?

Allison- C'mon Kris! It'll be fun! We can play parents! *drags Kris and Angel* Bye!

Angel- You sure YOUR not the one who ate the cookies? I might be the youngest one here, but I'm only two years younger than you…


	8. NYC New York Chaos

Niffelhiem Chapter 7

Yes, I know, FINALLY! I'm sorry it's been, like 3 weeks. I'll try to update this more often.

**Huge thanks to An Angel in Darkness for her idea!** I would also like to thank Mr. Cuddlekins (her teddy bear) for allowing me to use his name…Please PM me with suggestions! This goes for any of my stories! Please!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Adam, Caylee, Danny, and Lila are walking through the mall. Lila has played with Adam's remote so he is now human…)

Caylee- Wow… Not one weird comment from Adam…We passed two makeup stores and a pet store and he's said nothing…

Lila- It's so nice not hearing about the unicorn he wants to buy, isn't it?

Caylee- It's almost…boring…

(Feeling Good by Adam Lambert comes on in a store with loud music)

Adam- *does nothing that a normal human would not do…*

(All 4 walk into store)

Adam- *passes mirror* What the Hell am I wearing?!? *runs to bathroom*

Caylee- Wow…

Danny- He's almost…normal…

Adam- *comes back an hour later, his eyeliner, lip gloss, and black nail polish gone, and wearing a normal tee shirt and baggy jeans*

Caylee- It's like he's a different person…

Lila- it's so nice!

Danny- I don't know if I miss the old one or like this one better…

Lila- Would you rather have him screaming and wearing too much makeup, or this?

Danny- I guess this…

Caylee- Well I don't! Change him back!  
Lila- Fine… You'll be sorry… *presses button*

Adam- What? Huh? *sees self in mirror* What am I wearing? I don't have any black nail polish on! Or eyeliner! *screams*

Lila- Ya happy?

Caylee- Yup!

(Danny, Adam, Caylee, and Lila are walking through the door. Screams can be heard from inside the mansion.)

Lila- Wow… I thought Adam was with us…

Angel- *running into entryway* Help! Allison is treating me like a four year old!

Caylee- Why…?

Angel- She thinks making sure that I don't cause trouble is playing Parents with Kris!

Danny- And Kris is…

Angel- Watching TV pretending to be a negligent father…

Danny- Great…

Allison- Oh Angel! It's naptime! Do you want me to read you a story?

Angel- Allison, you DO realize I'm your age, right?

Allison- Whatever you say little Angel!

Caylee- Wow…

Danny- You think SHE has a remote control?

Adam- I think she had the crack

Lila- Angel, why aren't you all, like, high?

Angel- The crack wore off…

Kris- *finally moving away from the TV*Personally, I think she hit her head…

Adam- And you people think I'M weird…

Lila- You are. You BOTH are…

Allison- Angel!  
Angel- *mouths to Kris* DO SOMETHING!!!  
Kris- Um, Alli, do you want to, uh, watch TV with me?

Allison- Kris! We have to take care of Angel and make sure she doesn't get into trouble!

Lila- But Allison, we're all here. You, uh, did SO much already…We can take care of her now…

Allison- Okay! *walks away with Kris*

Angel- Thank you! Allison's being driving me crazy!

Adam- Doesn't she always…

Angel- PIE!

Caylee- Okay…

Angel- Okay, maybe it didn't COMPLETELY wear off…COOKIES!

Adam- I'd say it's just kicking in…That's what happened to me my first time…

Danny- Um…great…

Allison- *from living room* Is Angel causing trouble?

Lila, Danny, Adam, and Caylee- NO!

Allison- Oh. Okay!

Adam- We have to keep her from Alli! Last time I gave her crack, she-

Lila- You gave Alli crack?

Adam- Yeah…about that…she decided to drive up to a random house and bring the person to a random place…

Caylee- Wait, that's wait she told me…ADAM!!!

Danny- No wonder she drove into a brick wall…

Lila- Okay, so what should we do?

Angel- I WANT CHEESE DOODLES!

Adam- Who votes locking her in a closet?

Angel- Is there freeze dried corn in there?

Caylee- Uh, sure…*to Lila* What the Hell is that?

Lila- I have no clue…

Danny- Okay…Angel, I want, er, raisins!

Angel- I WANT CHOCOLATE COVERED PRETZELS!

Adam- We might have some. Let me check…*shoves Angel into pantry*

Angel- Hey! OH MY GOD! FRUIT BASKET! With chocolate covered strawberries!

Lila- Adam…no comment…

Adam- I'm awesome, right?

Caylee- Er…

Danny-…Sure…

Angel- COOKIES!!! Adam! Did you make them for me?

Adam- Shit! She found my secret stash…*forces Angel out of closet* GIVE ME MY COOKIES! *grabs cookies out of Angel's hands*

Angel- MINE! *grabs cookies back*

Lila- SHUT UP!

(Complete silence)

Angel- …I want my cookies…

Adam- They're mine…

Lila- *sigh* I need a vacation…

Danny- Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. They want me to perform in the New Year's Eve party in Time Square.

Caylee- Cool! We should all go!

Danny- It's next week, so we should go.

Lila- Can we leave, like, NOW?!?

(All seven are in Newark airport)

Kris- That was a long flight…

Lila- We live in LA, what did you expect?

(All pick up luggage at conveyor belt)

Danny- *staring blankly at conveyor belt* Not again…

Angel- What? What's wrong?

Danny- They lost my luggage…again…Now I don't have anything…Clothes…Hair products…the red ones…

Kris- Wow…

Danny- What? The red ones are my favorite!

Angel- Hmm…

Adam- What? WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Caylee- What now?

Adam- *through tears* They lost Mr. Cuddlekins…

Allison- Wow…

Adam- MR. CUDDLEKINS!!!!!!!!!!!!! *screams*

Angel- Uh…FREE ADAM LAMBERT CONCERT!

(A large crowd of tourist run over)

Angel- Only 5 bucks!

Little boy- I thought you said it was free!

Angel- The country's free, isn't that enough?

Little boy& his mother- No.

Adam- *screams* MR. CUDDLEKINS, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boy's mother- This…is…too…loud…

Angel- Um…FREE EAR PLUGS $10!

(Everyone who attended the concert buys earplugs)

Angel- 498, 499, $500! Here Danny. *give Danny money* Try not to spend it all of underwear…

Danny- Er…thanks…

(After a while, everyone gets bored and leaves the "concert")

Lila- So I guess we should get to our hotel…Danny, where are we staying?

Danny- Well, I didn't make reservations…

Others- WHAT?!?

Danny- Well Kris told me he would.

Kris- What makes you think that?

Danny- Because you said, "Don't worry Danny, I'll take care of everything!"

Kris- Crap…you're right…

Lila-…There's a bus that leaves for Manhattan in 5 minutes. We should go and look for somewhere to stay…

(All seven run to see the bus is still there)

Lila- We made it…

Little boy- That is NOT my teddy bear!

Security guard- I'm sorry! It said "Property of Adam" on the tag, and your backpack said "Adam" so I thought…

Adam- Mr. Cuddlekins?

Others- NO ADAM! DON'T! WE'LL MISS THE BUS!

Adam- Thank you kind security guard! *Takes teddy bear* MR. CUDDLEKINS!!!!! I'm not letting you out of my sight again!

(Bus pulls away)

Others- ADAM!!!

Adam- Sorry…*hides Mr. Cuddlekins in arms* Okay, you can blame me, but don't take your anger out on Mr. Cuddlekins! Why are you all coming at him like that? NO!

Allison- Give me one reason I shouldn't do this! (Dangles Mr. Cuddlekins over the road, where a truck is speeding down)

Adam- Uh, the sign says a bus every 5 minutes! *points to sign*

Lila-…He's right…

Allison- Fine…*gives Adam Mr. Cuddlekins*

Adam- MR. CUDDLEKINS!

Security guard- Er, sorry but that was the last bus of the day…

Allison- Give me the bear.

Adam- NO!!!

Angel- Wait! I just thought of something!

Kris- What?

Angel- Well, my parents live near here, so we can go there!

Lila- Uh, Angel, you sure your mom won't mind…

Angel- Er…

(At Angel's doorstep)

Angel- This is where I spent much of my childhood…

Lila- Uh, Angel…

Angel- *knocks on door*


	9. If You Think of A Better Title, PM Me

Niffelhiem Chapter 8

Huge thanks to An Angel in Darkness for letting me use her family! (She actually told me to…)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Angel- *knocks on door*

Angel's mom- *opens door* What do YOU want? I thought I got rid of you for good…

Angel- Did I mention my childhood sucked?

Angel's mom- Great…you're here and you brought…Kris!

Kris- Uh, yeah…

Angel's mom- Oh, you should come in Kris! It's cold!

Angel- What about my friends?

Angel's mom- If it keeps Kris here…

Kris- They should all stay! Well, except for _her_…*points to Lila*

Angel's grandpa- Who's that at the door? *points to Adam* Another grandchild? How many would that be now…54…55…56…

Lila- …Fine. I grew up down the street. Anyone want to come with me?

Angel's grandpa- …57…58…59…

Adam- Mr. Cuddlekins says we should go…

Angel's grandpa- …60…61…62…

Caylee-…I'm don't want to listen to a teddy bear, but her house is nice…

Angel's grandpa- …63…64…65…

Danny- …Yeah, and watching this all night…

Angel's grandpa- …66…67…68…

Angel- …I just remembered why I moved out…

(Lila, Caylee, Danny, Adam, and Angel leave)

Angel's grandpa- I just remembered! You're number 92, uh…what's your name! Awh…he left just as I was getting to know him…Ooh! The baseball game! GO GRANDCHILD NUMBER 52!

Angel's mom- …So Kris! Please, sit down! Do you need anything?

Allison- Um, excuse me, but he's MY Krissykins!

Angel's mom- Sure…

(The two get into a fight over Kris, which after a while Kris leaves to go to Lila's house)

Angel's dad- I'm ho…Whoa! What happened here?

(At Lila's house)

Adam- Mr. Cuddlekins says he likes it here, and that your dad is a lot nicer than Angel's mom…

Danny- *rolls eyes at Mr. Cuddlekins*

Adam- What's that? Mr. Cuddlekins says he saw that and Danny's a meanie…

Caylee- Adam, you do know Mr. Cuddlekins is…

Adam- My best friend!

Angel- I thought that was Kris…

Adam- I can have two best friends, right? Besides, Mr. Cuddlekins is different. A can tell him everything! It's like being married, only Mr. Cuddlekins always listens and never gets mad! What's that Mr. Cuddlekins? You want a divorce? WAHHHHHHHH!!! Oh. You were kidding…YAY!!!!! *hugs Mr. Cuddlekins*

Angel- Well, Adam, what about Kris?

Adam- Oh…Kris…He's almost better! I wish he listen to me like Mr. Cuddlekins though…He just yells at me and tells me to get the Hell out of his room before he gets his chainsaw out…No, I'm not replacing you…! Don't use that kind of language! No! Fine! The silent treatment…

Angel- …anyway, back to Kris…If you don't love him, why did we find you in the bathtub that one day kissing a picture of him?

Adam- I wasn't crying! I was trying to drown myself! In my tears!

Lila- Why…

Adam- I found out he was married…

Caylee- How did you not know before?

Adam- Every time he talked to me about his life, I was kinda busy staring into his eyes…Those beautiful…brown…eyes…NO! Stop slapping me! I'm mad at you!

Kris- And I'm…very disturbed…Adam, why are you slapping yourself?

Adam- I'm not…It's all him! *points to Mr. Cuddlekins*

Kris- Er…Adam, why are you pointing to your teddy bear?

Danny- So you heard everything…

Kris- Unfortunately… I could have lived without hearing that…and the reminder that I'm married…

Caylee- Katy'll be so glad…

Adam- Mr. Cuddlekins, STOP IT!!!

Lila- Adam…

Adam- It's all him!

Danny- Er…It's a teddy bear Adam…

Adam- Mr. Cuddlekins! Oh. You calmed down…Mr. Cuddlekins says we should find something to do…

Caylee- Who votes the shaving the bear?

(Everyone except for Lila and Adam raise their hand)

Angel- Lila! Why not?

Lila- Shaving it? That's no fun! Who votes BURNING Mr. Cuddlekins?

(Everyone except for Adam raises their hand)

Adam- What? NO!!! WHAT HAS MR. CUDDLEKINS EVER DONE TO YOU?

Angel- Well he's turned you into an idiot! Then again you already were…

Adam- But Mr. Cuddlekins has always been there for me! When I got made fun of in kindergarten! Or that time when those guys tried to beat me up in high school! And when Kris rejected me-

Lila- I thought he didn't know about your crush until now…

Adam- Yeah, that's what I mean! Mr. Cuddlekins is the best! He's ALWAYS here for me…

Lila- Um…I don't think he has a choice…

Adam-Don't hurt him! Take me instead! *Dramatically falls on to knees*

Caylee- Um…

Danny- He's…serious…about keeping the bear…

Kris- You know…this isn't fun anymore…

(The front door bursts open)

Allison- Angel! Your…mom…is…NUTS!

Angel- I've heard THAT before…

(Allison walks into the living room where everyone else is. Her clothes are torn and the hair looks like a red blob surrounding her scratched face)

Kris- Whoa! Alli, what happened?

Allison- Crazy…man stealing…

Kris-Okay, I get it…

Allison- Loud…annoying…stupid…

Angel- You left out bossy and evil!

Allison- That too!

Adam- Stop Alli!

Allison- Why?!?

Adam- You're scaring Mr. Cuddlekins!

Allison- Adam…*grabs Mr. Cuddlekins and attempts to rip him to shreds…* Shit! This is stitched TIGHT! Here…I don't want to break a nail…*throws Mr. Cuddlekins at Adam's head*

Adam- *screams in pain*

(Complete silence)

Angel- Wanna play…truth or dare?

Caylee- Sure…

Lila- Whatever…

(Everyone sits on the floor)

Angel- I'll start! Danny! Truth or Dare? Please say truth…please say truth…please say-

Danny- Dare.

Angel- Crap…Tell me what do you think about me!

Danny- How's that a dare?

Angel- Fine. I dare you to tell me what you think about me!

Danny- …I think you're cute…

Angel- YES!

Danny- But like a little kid…

Angel- WHAT?!? I thought you wanted to go out with me or something!

Danny- Sorry! I'm not-

Angel- Completely and totally in love with me?

Danny- N-

Angel- Yet?

Danny- Angel…

Angel- Danny!

Adam- My turn! Caylee, truth or dare?

Caylee- Um…truth…

Adam- Fine…Uh…I don't know…Who do you think is the smartest one here?

Caylee- How's that a truth?

Adam- …it's a TRUE answer…as long as you get it right…

Caylee- How do you get an opinion question wrong?

Adam- Well, you say words that aren't the correct answer…

Caylee- But there's no-

Lila- Okay, we get the point…

Caylee- Fine…ME!

Adam- WRONG!

Kris- Adam, who do YOU think the smartest one here…

Adam- It's not your turn, and MR. CUDDLEKINS!

Everyone else- …

Allison- That's it! *grabs Mr. Cuddlekins…*

Adam- NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Allison- Give me one freakin' reason to leave the bear alone!

Adam- Well, first, he's my best friend…

Allison- WRONG! *grabs Mr. Cuddlekins*

Adam- ALLI! NO! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!!!

Angel- She will be…When your bear is in 463198471024 pieces!

Adam- Well what if, uh, he had a good idea?!?  
Angel- Adam, what could that bear possibly think?

Adam- Well, uh, I need him to tell me…*grabs out of Alli's hands* What? Oh!

Lila- Adam, what are you imagining to hear now…

Adam- Well, Mr. Cuddlekins said stay away from that…Hey! What did I say about bad language, Mr. Cuddlekins!

Danny- Um…did he "say" anything else?

Adam- Oh! Mr. Cuddlekins also said he was sorry and deserved a time out…As long as you don't say that again, its okay-

Danny- Anything ELSE?!?

Adam- Oh! He also suggested that we go home…

(Complete silence)

Lila- Surprisingly enough, I actually agree with the bear…

Adam- SEE! Mr. Cuddlekins is the smartest one here!

Lila- Well…


	10. Mr Cuddlekin's Revenge

Niffelhiem Chapter 9

Sorry this took so long! Yeah…I don't know what else to say so…ya…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lila- Well that was a fun trip…

Angel- Yeah…

Allison- I still haven't fully recovered from your mom…

Angel- I still haven't recovered from living with her for 18 years…

Kris- What do you two have against her? She's so nice!

Allison- Don't start.

Danny- So what should we do now?

Kris- Um, talk?

Caylee- Write random fan fictions that suck yet make people laugh?

Angel- Sit around and be lazy?

Allison- Plan revenge on Angel's mom?

Angel- I take mine back! I like Allison's idea better!

Adam- OMG! Random newsflash of the day!

Caylee- *sigh* What now…

Adam- Lady Gaga's bi!

(Complete silence)  
Lila- Well, you were right when you said random…

Adam- Why?

Angel- Well…it's just COMPLETELY random…I mean not that I expected it, I mean she has that song "Boys Boys Boys"…

Caylee- Where'd you hear that? Mr. Cuddlekins.

Adam- *grabbing Caylee's hands* Finally, someone who understands me…

Caylee- Er, no…

Allison- Adam, just give me the God damn fuckin' bear already…

Adam- NOOOOOO!!!!!

Allison- Adam, you're, like, POSSESED by that thing!

Adam- HOW DID YOU KNOW?!?

Allison- What?!?

Kris- Adam! What's your problem?

Adam- Adam? I'm not Adam! I am Mr. Cuddlekins!

Lila-Haha Adam, now shut up.

Adam- FOR THE LAST TIME THERE IS NO ADAM!!!

Danny- Like we'll ever believe that…

Kris- Adam, if you stop this stupidity now, I'll…kiss you!

Allison- *slaps Kris* Oh no you won't! I will!

Kris- What?!?

Angel- OMG! Everyone loves Adam!

Caylee- …except for me…

Danny- I'm not gay…

Lila- I'm not COMPLETELY in love with him…okay, maybe I am…But isn't every girl? And some guys…

Caylee- Except for me…

Lila- Idiot with bad taste in guys.

Caylee- Idiot who's in love with a gay guy.

Lila- Well isn't everyone?!?

Caylee- …whatever…

Allison- Okay, Adam, stop this shit already…I'll make Danny kiss you if you don't!

Danny- First, ew…didn't I JUST say that I'm NOT gay…and second, am I really THAT bad that you'd use me as a threat against Adam?!?

Angel- NO! You're extremely sexy and awesome!

Danny- Okay…

Angel- Well it's true!

Danny- I'm…flattered…?

Lila- Okay, moving on to the Adam issue…

Adam- I'm NOT Adam! I'm Mr. Cuddlekins!

Kris- Sure you are Adam…Sure you are…

Adam- SHUT UP!!!!!

Allison- I have a feeling that's not Adam…

Caylee- Why not?

Allison- Well, he's madder than usual, and normally he'd add some…colorful language into that statement…

Angel- You're right…What must we do Mr. Cuddlekins?!? I kinda want Adam back…

Caylee- I don't! At least Mr. Cuddlekins has a brain…

Lila- He's a stuffed animal…

Caylee- With an IQ higher than its owner's…

Kris- That might be true…

Adam- Okay, so you people just shut up…your voices are getting annoying…Especially yours…*points to Kris*

Lila- Finally someone who gets it!

Allison- Okay, that's DEFINITLY not Adam…

Danny- Yeah, if it was, it would want us to sacrifice Kris or something…so HE could have him…

Lila- Which I would totally do…

Caylee- And I wouldn't let you…or I'd go with him…

Lila- Um…why would anyone do that?

Caylee- Because, Lila, some people don't have bad taste in both guys AND music and WOULD-

Lila- Two things. First, ADAM IZ SEXY! Anna Nalick, Missy Higgins, Danny, and all those other peoples on my iPod ROX…well…except for the crap I have…

Allison- Why DOES your iPod have so much crap on it?

Lila- Dance music…Stuff I'm too lazy to take off…Kris Allen iTunes Pass…

Kris- Hey!

Angel- If you hate him so much, why'd you buy it?

Lila- I had money, I was bored, and I wanted to see how bad it was…

Kris- Meanie…

Caylee- Yeah!

Danny- Okay, moving on to the Adam issue…

Adam- I AM MR. CUDDLEKINS!  
Danny- Er, sure you are…Anyway…

Lila- Okay, so what do you want?

Adam- Well…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What does this, supposedly EVIL teddy bear want? I don't even know! I do take suggestions, and if you want another chapter so time soon, I suggest you give me some! Please!


	11. Screams, Swords, and Pens

Niffelhiem Chapter 10

Sorry for the long wait for this! I just thought of this today. HUGE thanks to AllisonIraheta'sAwesomeFan! Without her, I wouldn't have thought of ANY of this! SO, you peoples should all thank her too:) Unless this sucks…Then throw pens at her…or swords…

And thanks to An Angel in Darkness for letting me use her quotes…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Allison- So…what are we supposed to do…I want the love of my life back…

Kris- Word of advice Allison. BACK AWAY FROM MY MAN!

Allison- Hm…NOT A CHANCE!

Kris- Bitch.

Danny- GUYS! Now do you want to save Adam or NOT?!?

Kris- …she started-

Lila- Shut the fuck up bitches.

Adam- Now if you want your friend back, you'll have to win 2 out of 3…disputes…

Angel- Ooh! Like SCREAMING CONTESTS?!?

Danny- Please don't be a screaming contest…please don't be a screaming contest…

Angel- I can SO do that…I'm related to my mom…

Lila- Of course you're related to your mom dumbass.

Caylee- Do you EVER think before you speak?!?

Angel- Well, I don't THINK I think…ever, so no.

(Complete silence)

Adam- Anyway, thanks for the idea! SCREAMING CONTEST!

Angel- Bitch you stole my idea.

Adam- I'm an evil teddy bear possessing a gay retard. DO YOU THINK I CARE?!?

Caylee- Moving on…

Allison- Wait, Angel, how are you going to beat him? You're forgetting that he's in Adam's hot…amazing…SEXY body…

Angel- Crap. You're right…well, except for the whole hot amazing sexy thing…

Allison- Bitch.

Angel- I hope I inherited my mom's genes…*screams…not so great…*

Adam- Pathetic! *screams so loud glass shatters*

Danny- MY EYES! HE BROKE MY GLASSES! *screams louder than Mr. Cuddlekins/Adam*

Adam- …crap you bitches won…But it's not over yet! The next thing is a sword fight!

Angel- Wait are we in Medieval Times or something?!? Why would we have a sword on us?!?

Adam- *pulls out sword*

Angel- …no comment…

Allison- Crap…how am I going to save him so he falls in love with me like in those cheesy movies now…

Kris- Hey! You stolededed my idea!

Allison- WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

Kris- Bitch.

Caylee- (ignoring Kris and Allison) Well, the pen is mightier than the sword. *pulls out pen and paper*

Allison- Ya know what? * grabs pen out of Caylee's hand* FOR ADAM!

Caylee- Hey!

Kris- *reaches into Lila's purse and pulls out pen* FOR ADAM!

Lila- BITCH! STOP GOING THROUGH MY PURSE!

Angel- Ooh! What do you have in there? Chocolate? I WANT CHOCOLATE! *goes into Lila's purse*

(Kris and Allison get into a…pen…fight…Adam/Mr. Cuddlekins watches, rolling his eyes at them)

Kris- *panting* All…i…s…o…n…s…t…o…p…need…to…sa…ve…Ad…am…

Allison- Good…point…FOR ADAM! (attacks Mr. Cuddlekins)

Kris- For…Adam…(faints)

Adam- I win!

Allison- Crap…

Adam- So next…you'll be…crap I'm out of ideas…You guys get a break while I think of something…

(All go upstairs into Lila's room)

Danny- So what should we do next?

Caylee- Well you idiot, we can't prepare for something random that he chooses…

Lila- We could come up with ideas…he might take them like he did before…

Allison- OMG Kris is waking up…

Caylee- KRIS!

Kris- Ch…oc…ol…at…e…

Caylee- Angel, did Lila have any chocolate in her purse?

Angel- No…just "girly items"

Danny- Lila carries CONDOMS?!?

Caylee- No you idiot…I FOUND CHOCOLATE!

Kris- CHOCOLATE!  
Lila- Aw…I thought you were dead…

Angel- CHOCOLATE!

Allison- CHOCOLATE!  
(The four run over to Lila's purse, stuffing their faces with chocolate)

Lila- As much as I love chocolate, you three sound like the screaming chocolate guy from Spongebob…

Danny- You watch Spongebob?

Lila- It's something called having little losers for cousins…

Danny- Ah…

Lila- He has a Facebook fanpage.

Danny- Really?

Lila- Yeah…I'm a fan…

Danny- Why?

Lila- I have no life.

Danny- That explains it.

Lila- Bitch.

Angel- Awh! NO MORE CHOCOLATE!!!

(Adam/Mr. Cuddlekins walks into the room)

Danny- So you thought of something?

Adam- No…I was hoping you did…


	12. Rock Paper Scissor Blowjob?

Niffelhiem Chapter 10

I know it's been way too long. I'm busy cursing at my iPod for deleting this chapter when I tried to send it to my email…It's probably going to suck…

* * *

Kris- Rock Paper Scissors?

Adam- Works for me…

Caylee- So Mr. Cuddlekins…Why are you doing this?

Adam- I want his body-

Caylee& Angel- (Bursts into uncontrollable laughter)

Adam- Oh GROW UP!!! You know what I meant!  
Angel- Oh we know what you meant…*laughs*

Kris- Moving on…Rock paper scissor-

(Both use paper)

Kris- Tie-

Adam- NO! I used avalanche!

Allison- There are no avalanches in rock paper scissors…That's why avalanches aren't involved in the game's name and-

Adam- What about-

Danny- No nuclear weapons

Adam- Or-

Angel- Or blowjobs!  
Adam- …How did you know?

Lila- WE HAVE ADAM BACK!  
Adam- Huh?

Lila- He was thinking about blowjobs.

Angel- That makes sense…

Kris- And me!  
Adam- So where was I?

*Complete silence*

Danny- You went to…Florida!

Adam- Yeah right…now tell me something I can believe…

Angel- CandyLand?

Lila- Is she high again?

Angel- …maybe…

Adam- …Sounds a little more realistic…But I'm not high…

Danny- How do you get high in a children's game?

Adam- The same way I always get high…I go to CandyLand and I get my crack!  
Allison- …You mean sugar?

Adam- …That was sugar…

Angel- Wait…so you mean to tell me that the whole time, I was high on SUGAR?!? YOU GAVE ME A SUGAR COOKIE?!?

Caylee- Shit!

Kris- What?!?

Caylee- Sugar's more of a drug to her than crack is…

Lila- Shizzz…

Allison- I love saying 'shizzz'!

Lila- The 'z's feel readyh cool on your tongue…Kinda like the s sound in Narcissa…

Allison- Narcissa…AWESOME!  
Adam- Okay…so where was I?

Caylee- You were possessed by Mr. Cuddlekins who wanted to use your body for evil, possibly perverted, purposes…

Adam- …Now that I can believe…

(Complete silence)

Kris- He's mine.

Allison- BITCH! He's fuckin' MINE!

Adam-Who?  
Kris& Allison- YOU!

Adam- Oh…

Allison- So who do you like Adam?

Adam- Well I like a lot of people…Kris…Allison…Lady GaGa…Danny-

Danny- Um…

Allison- No, we mean LIKE not like…

Adam- Hm…well my favorite girl is-

Kris- But I thought you were gay-

Allison- You still have a chance Kris…

Kris- Bitch…

Adam- LILA!  
Lila- Huh?

Adam- *screams* I LOVE YOU!

Lila- Um…great…*to Danny* Is his remote control okay?

Danny- *checks* Yeah…

Lila- Shizzz…

Caylee- Um…So Kris…Does this mean you're available?

Kris- No.

Caylee- Sexy bitch…

Adam- *whispers in Lila's ear. Only audible word is 'glambudge'*

Kris- Ugh…Adam! We don't need to hear you talk about what you're going to do with her later…

Lila- Thanks a lot Kris…Provoke him…

Allison- But Adam…You're mine…

Lila- Ugh…I'm tired…*fake yawns* I'm going to sleep-

Adam- With me!

Lila- No…

* * *

Adam- I love you Lila!

Lila- I hate you too Adam…

Caylee- I thought you loved him…You used to torture me with those dreams where you-

Angel- Okay…That's enough…

Kris- So since she hates you now…Will you have sex with me?

Allison- NO! Pick me!

Adam- Blowjob.

Kris- YES!!

Danny- Kris…He never said he was going to…I'm not getting involved…

Caylee- I'll stick with you and not getting involved…

Danny- Thanks Caylee…People who listen to me make me feel loved-

Angel- I'M LISTENING!!!  
Danny- Um…Thanks?

Allison- Wait! I'm making the connection and…OMFG THAT WAS WHAT ALL THE NOISE WAS LAST NIGHT!

Lila- No! It was-

Adam- Blowjob!  
Lila- No! I-

Kris- Oh we ALL heard you-

Lila- I just-

Allison- Yeah…You just fucking stole my man and gave him-

Lila- What the fuck? What makes you think that we-

Allison- IT WAS YOU WHO BROKE MY GUITAR AND GAVE IT TO ADAM TO GIVE TO GENE SIMMONS WHO GAVE HIM A-

Adam- ENOUGH! You were right…We DID do what you thought we did…

Allison- So you and Lila had a threesome with Gene Simmons?

Adam- No…But we did-

Kris- Break Allison's guitar?

Adam- It should be in her closet…Unless Ricky Martin took it out when he was in there-

Kris- Okay. Get on with it.

Lila- Adam. We. Did. Not-

Adam- Yeah…who are they going to believe. The crack addict who just found out he's been on sugar? Or his sexy, pregnant girlfriend?

* * *

I know what you're all thinking. WTF?!? Reviews are love, but if you can, please keep any questions you have away from that last plot twist. Just like everything that has happened so far, it's not what you think;)


	13. Baby Lambert?

Yay! I actually got this up…I've had this done for a while but…

* * *

Everyone- WHAT?!?

Kris- You actually knocked her up?

Allison- Awh...I wanted to be the mother of Adam's kids...Well, I guess I could have the next one...or the one after that...or-

Angel- We don't want to know-

Caylee- Wait...but how would you know? Aren't we talking about last night-

Lila- I was thinking the same thing...

*Silence*

Danny- So you're not pregnant...

Adam- Lila's not. But I am!

Everyone else- WTF?!?

Adam- I'm kidding...I just wanted to see how you reacted...

Lila- Adam, sometimes you just need to shut your mouth-

Angel- That's what she said!

Kris- Someone please explain that to me...I don't get it...I mean yeah...she JUST said it...so what...

Caylee- Anyone care to explain?

*Silence*

Angel- I'll do it...*whispers to Kris*

Kris- Well that's...wrong...

Adam- No not really...not when you compare it to-

Danny- New topic! New topic!

Caylee- That's what she said...

Everyone- ...

Adam- So what would we name it if we actually did have a kid?

Lila- ...We wouldn't...

Adam- I will NOT let me kid run around being called No Name...

Lila- No as in we're never having kids-

Adam- But that's what happens when you-

Angel- TMI!!!

Lila- Condoms.

Allison- We don't want to know...

Adam- What if it breaks-

Lila- Abstinence.

Adam- But-

Lila- Yes.

Kris- CAN YOU TWO LOVEBIRDS STOP TALKING ABOUT FUCKING EACH OTHER?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Lila- Blame it on him.

Caylee& Angel- That's what she said!

Kris- *at same time* SHE SAID THAT!

Everyone- *silence*

Angel- He's hopeless...

Caylee- ...So what would you name your kid?

Lila- I'm not having a kid. Especially not with Adam-

Adam- Phil!

Lila- Okay then...This is why I'm not having a kid with him-

Allison- We don't need to know...and I thought I was because you didn't want to-

Danny- New topic! New topic!

Angel- So Danny...What do you think of the name Drizzle?

Danny- ...that's a name?

Angel- What about Laryngitis?

Danny- Isn't that an illness?

Angel- Scoopula?

Danny- What is that?!?

Angel- But those are going to be our kids' names!

Danny- What?!?

Caylee- Not this again...

Lila- Angel I thought you gave this up in, like, eighth grade...

Angel- No...

Kris- Obviously not...

Caylee- I would name our kids Adelle, Brenden, Carlos, David, Eliza, Fred, George, Hagrid, Ignotus, James, Katy, Larissa., Melissa, Nikki, Olivia, Pedro, Quinn, Renaldo, Severus, Tom, Ursula, Voldemort, Waldo, Xaiver, Yolanda, and Zoey, Kris

Everyone- WTF?!?

Lila- Um...Nice Harry Potter reference?

Kris- What?!?

Allison- Huh?

Caylee- Ya Kris!

Angel- That's a lot of sex...

Danny- NEW TOPIC!

*Complete silence*

Kris- Uh Caylee...I'm married-

Lila- That explains why you've been denying this to Adam...

Kris- I'm gay? Not interested in-

Danny- NEW TOPIC!!!!!

Kris- What? I was just going to say 'you'...it's not like I was going to say-

Danny- Do I have to say new topic again?

Kris- You just did...

Danny- I'll say it again. New-

Kris- I'll shut up...I'm interested in-

Angel- DICKS!

Danny- NEW TOPIC!!!!

*Silence*

Lila- Okay...so if I WERE to have a child but COMPLETE accident with HIM, I would name it...hmm...I got nothing.

Adam- But Lila...we should talk about this stuff...We're a couple and-

Angel- You are?

Adam- What if come next month you start barfing your guts out?

Lila- Funny...I thought everyone was over that swine flu thing...

Adam- Haha very funny...Come on...this is serious...

Caylee- Siriusly!

Danny- Nice Harry Potter reference...

Caylee- Thanks!

Angel- Wait...WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ADAM?!?

Kris- What's wrong with him?

Angel- He was serious about something...

Lila- I know...Danny...can you check the remote?

Danny- Okay...wow...It's on...good...girl...

Lila- What the fuck?!? Are you sure this is Adam...

Danny- Yes- I mean no...What the heck...It's-


End file.
